Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why is pure dopamine not a recreational drug? And if it was wouldn’t it be the most addictive and fairly side effect free?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Magic Johnson Bluntly Blames Two Players for Knicks' Season-Ending Loss - Sports Illustrated

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Watch These Broadcom Stock Price Levels After Post-Earnings Slide - Investopedia

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What is your wildest experience in Bangalore that you haven’t told anyone?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

The Best Of Roots Picnic Made Up For The Absolute Worst - HuffPost

I can count

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can read

Dinosaurs Had More Than Just Teeth—They Had Cancer, and It’s Changing Everything - The Daily Galaxy

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Citi drops gun policy after Trump slammed banks for discriminating against conservatives - New York Post

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Are cold plunges good for you? Here’s what the science says. - The Washington Post

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I actually pay taxes

Can an astrologer predict that someone is in a physical relationship before marriage?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why cant I feel anything in my sleep? I cannot even feel myself moving, breathing, and swallowing saliva! I cannot even hear anything, not even my alarm! Some people that I've been with says that I'm moving a lot in my sleep, how can I stop it?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

How do flat Earthers explain the existence of other spherical planets?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I see through liars

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t